Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't deserve a penis
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
