im gay
i know
yea but for you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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