at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize