also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
