It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
