I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
