so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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