its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
