Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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