strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
