You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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