Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
