Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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