oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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