Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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