i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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