I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
