i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
