it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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