Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
