Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
