wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
