Please, let me fuck your mom
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Everything about him screamed your future.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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