Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
