i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
