Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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