At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
