First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
