laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
