party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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