Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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