Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
