I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Did you just see the Batmobile???
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
