Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
