In the future we'll all be gay
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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