Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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