Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize