You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
