I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
