big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
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