If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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