One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
