I could have mohawked her pubes.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
