So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize