Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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