yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
