My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
