Plan B is the new Plan A
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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