What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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