belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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