Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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