we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
