So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I could make wine with my vomit
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
