party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
