I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
