So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
