never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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