3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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