Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
