Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
